Did I do the right thing by taking my kids away from their father?

My ex and I (never married)broke up about 4yrs ago. Our children are now 6 and 7. Thru the 4 years this has been the problem.


1. He has been with over 40 women and they all move in with him with in the 1st week of knowing him.Within a month, he's cheating on them and another ones in the pic.


2. He is suspose to take the boys every other weekend and on wednesdays from 6-9. 70% of the time he has an excuse of why he's going to be late, why he can't pick them up, or why he needs to bring them home early.


3. He has a court order to pay almost $400 a month and I'm lucky to get $200 a month.





I have begged and pleaded with him to keep his personal love life away from his kids until he atleast knows the person a few months. His last 2 gf's have gone nuts on him (stabbing tires, busting windows, continuous phone calls even 2 me which I don't respond 2).I feel enough is enough. Am I wrong?

Did I do the right thing by taking my kids away from their father?
Yes, you have every right to refuse him visits, if his behavior is reckless. What you don't have a right to do is refuse visitation over him not paying child support. (The reason I am saying this is so someone else does not misinterpret that to mean that they can.) What you need to do to cover your own a.s.s on refusing visits, make SURE you have lots of documented facts, times, people, places, and photo's of damage. Without that, he can fight you to have control over the children, and could win because your refusal could be viewed as vindictive. I am sure you are a very caring mother who wants the best for her children. But, I have seen people who are like your ex, fight back and actually win the kids because someone could not prove what they knew were facts.
Reply:Your very welcome. Report It

Reply:I can understand your frustration, but I think that the children will resent you for this and you are making him really attractive in adolescence, just when it is a bad idea. Let him get rid of them. Don't do his dirty work for him.
Reply:who telling you all about him... his life is his now... all kids need there dad ,get a order on him , so he cant annoy you...
Reply:No. I mean if he doesnt agree with what you give him, as far as visitation with the kids, then he could tell you or go to court and see what the judge says.
Reply:I have a friend that has a 2year old with the same problem as you do just #1 and 2. I think it pathetic that men get away with a lot of crap compared to women. We are nurtures and the first time that comes into mind is our children and a way to protect them. From the time of conception we are committed to our kids. I don't see anything wrong with your choice. Yeah, you are right enough is enough to deal with his drama and his problems. Let him be with women that want to put up with him, you don't have time for that. I would keep my self distant if I were you. Let the kids see his father but stay away from his drama.
Reply:i understand where you are coming from. what i would do is hire an attorney and seek perm full custody and let him have either supervised visitation or where he can take them during the day but no overnight visits.


also see about getting the state to enforce his child support. they can take the money out of his paycheck and send it to you. this is the best way to do it anyhow. that way when he gets behind on his support you will get his income tax refund up to the amount he is behind in payments.





good luck to you and your children





p.s. make sure to document EVERYTHING! when he's late, when he is supposed to have them but doesn't, his new girl of the week, when a newly ex goes psycho on him, etc. the more proof you have the better.
Reply:Keep those boys far far away from him because he will teach them to be everything a healthy stable woman HATES in a man. I suspect he is in to drugs too. It's great to have both parents in a child's life, but NOT if they are unstable immature irresponsible idiots!
Reply:No, you're not wrong for keeping distance from him. You don't want your children learning that it's okay to have that lifestyle. Though it is sad for the kids to miss out on activities that include their dad, I think you should totally control each other's envolment. Like, if you take them to the park, he is welcome to come and see them. Or maybe he can take them to a parade. More "one day" activities. But I don't think they should spend a weekend with him and be exposed to his awful sleezy living situation.
Reply:Yes your wrong. No matter how bad their father is being hes better than no father. Also who put you in the high and mighty judgement chair? Let him have the kids whenever he wants them and maybe suggest that until he knows these girls more he should maybe wait to introduce the kids, that way he deals with the drama not your kids. No matter what don't take his kids away because his judgement of women is off.
Reply:you did right he is a bad example
Reply:If he is that unstable, keep the kids away from him. Don't contact him and don't worry if he doesn't contact you or the kids. If he wants them, he knows where they are but I sure wouldn't encourage the relationship while he is acting like this and especially since he is picking such unstable people to be with ~ your kids do not need that. Hopefully you will meet someone else who will love kids and be more than happy to take the whole package and love all of you and give the kids a secure upbringing. Keeping you in prayer.
Reply:No, he sounds irresponsible and isnt putting the kids safety and wellbeing first, he just thinking about getting laid apparently.
Reply:Children need both parents, not all parents are good parents but the children shouldn't be punished because of that.
Reply:Yes ohhh yes.. If he want to visit with them you can arrange it with the YMCA or with family court you can request supervised visitation only. Did you go to court to legally get full custody..It doesn't matter if you were married.. You should get it documented..I did..Saved allot of heart pains. I would not want my x who is no longer with us. to expose them to his life style if it is like that you did the right thing Mom..Can not push a relationship he doesn't seem to want. You will find some one really great to show them love. As they use to say


Anyone can be a dad but it takes someone special to be a Father..
Reply:You need to protect your kids at all costs, and even have it written in the visitation order that no parties of the opposite sex unless married can sleep over when the kids are there.
Reply:you are doing the right thing to taking your own kids away from that person.you are still doing the right thing.
Reply:This man doesn't deserve to know his kids. He doesn't even want to support them.