OK only two options available...Kids drugs and alcohol see details....?

ok only the two options available...One your does drugs and alcohol and you know about it or Two they do it and try to hide it from you...which do you prefer and why....ok now there is no third option "my kids a good kid and not going to do those things at all" ok for those of you saying that pull your head out of where ever it is and wake up only about 5-10% of kids are going to take that path so your going to be one of the other two...and think about it i have see n this many many times a kids at a party getting pretty gone and all of a sudden mom and dad call and say you better get home right now its curfew well now kid must go home however there isn't any sober ppl at party so kids faced with dilemma go home which entails getting into a car with a less than sober person (whether it be himself or someone else) or stay at party and have parents go nuts well most of the time they get a ride home and if they’re lucky they won't get in an accident and DIE so which is it one or two?

OK only two options available...Kids drugs and alcohol see details....?
Yeah, you're right, all of them try it sooner or later - I choose one, it's very hard to make your kids to choose this option though. My own kids are too little, but I have 18yr old stepson - it took us nearly two years to make him be straight with us - I guess he was willing to tell us, but had doubt about how we would react - and it is hard, very hard to react calmly, really. But you have to push this option, kids won't. He would naturally choose not tell us nothing, it was me or my husband keep pushing him - every time we would know he's going out we would be telling him to call us after if he would need a ride, not to drive drunk or with anybody who is drunk .... (telling him NOT to drink is closing your eyes, they all DO that). We pushed it long enough and it happend - called us to pick him up one time. And how hard it is not to get mad (on the other hand, just remember what we were doing....), it's better to see him drunk then dead....
Reply:Id rather know about it. Id rather it didnt happen at all, but If it does I want my girl to feel comfortable enough to give me a call if she needs a ride etc. I was a wild child growing up and I would have NEVER called my parents... it would have been nice to once and a while.
Reply:You shopuld really expect more of your kids! not all kids drink and do drugs.
Reply:Of the 2, it's best to know what your kids are doing. Much rather pick my kid up at a house after drinking than pick him out at the morgue.





5-10% isn't really that great a number. And just FYI, if my kids were doing anything out of line, even the first time, I'd know about it before they walked through the door. Beware! I tell mine. Eyes are on you always. Any of the people in our community are quick to pick up the phone or drop by to mention 'Johnny is headed down the wrong path'
Reply:I, like a lot of parents, would rather my kids not do either, but peer pressure is something not all kids can resist. In that case, I would rather my kids pick up the phone and ask for a ride versus trying to get home on their own. I, too, live in a small community where everyone knows everyone else and everyone's business, so I more than likely would know that my girls were getting in trouble before they get home. My kids, are "good kids", but like I said before, even good kids can be corrupted.
Reply:I'm not going to take the chance of assuming that my kids will or will not do drugs in their teens- however, I will always try to influence their decision with a better education on what the different drugs will do to their bodies and which are more/less harmful.





I will, of course, teach them that drugs are bad, but will also explain to them the different effects of different drugs, what to expect and be wary of- I'm not stupid, I'm a teen whose parents always kept drugs hidden away in the dark, I had to educate myself... learnt that tequila, vodka, bourbon shots on an empty stomach, plus weed WASN'T a good idea the hard way and have had to educate myself on other drugs- every kid's going to do it, but I find that in educating myself, I learn which drugs I would and wouldn't like to try.





And yes, I'd rather know that my kids were doing drugs for the reasons I just stated... if I felt that it got out of hand, past experimenting and into addiction or hard drugs (injectibles, for instance), then I would come down really hard on my kid and, if necessary, put them into a rehab clinic- but I think (or hope) that with the proper education, my kids should be smart enough to figure out for themselves what is and isn't a good idea.





Most of my friends have all tried drugs, but because we've all been well-educated about them, we now know our boundaries.





All of my friends are sensible to steer clear of injected substances and those which can cause instant addiction/random instant death... we're also very clear on a strictly 'no peer-pressure' (don't allow any form of pushing or prompting of others to try drugs in our group, whatsoever) rule within our group and discuss with each other what drugs are and are not safe, how best to use them and how to stay safe.





We dabble in the light stuff recreationally and are content there... sheltering or living in denial is just stupid.
Reply:I am not putting my head in the sand at all.


I just think if you tell your child if they are going to drink then you would rather them tell you and call you for a ride home. that there will be no punishment for a good decision is a bunch of bull.


I do not want to know.


If my child thinks I will think badly of them if they do that sort of thing they will not let themselves get so badly out of it they have to have a ride home! I have 2 sons both of them in their 20's and they both did some drinking and what not when they were growing up. but I never knew about it. till they told me after they were over the age of 21.





I just have to say if you condone it they will do it. no matter what. if you tell them to call you and get a ride home they will get stinking drunk just to see if you will.


They will do what you expect of them to do. and to disrespect me by blatantly doing it and calling me to say come get me I have treated my body to this because you basically told me it was something I was going to do and it was okay by you is wrong.


Tell them it is dumb to get so drunk and not know how to get home when they are expected. Because it is.


Tell them if they are so dumb as to get that drunk then call and ask to spend the night at that house they are at. If there is a party there and the kids are having alcohol then that set of parents can take care of the problem.
Reply:I would want to know about it.





I have always made it clear to my kids that if they are at a party and they are not sober and there is no one sober to drive them home to call me and there will be no questions asked that night. Your kids have to know they can depend on you to take off the parent hat for a minute sometimes. It doesn't mean you are condoning what they are doing. It means you will be there for them and help them through on their level sometimes.
Reply:i would definitely rather know about it because as much as i dont want my child drinking and doing drugs, i know that it will happen at least once. i know how it is being a teenager and i wish that when i was a teenager i could have called my parents and asked them for a ride, or asked them to help me get out of a sticky situation.