My um... mother!?

OK so I know. I'm lucky. I have a great life, and my mom is alive. But uh... at times my mother gets on my nerves and I just wanna slug her! She's always bothering me and she says the same things all the time. She helps out in volleyball and she is so embarrassing telling our personal family business to the coach and she acts like she knows everything. Volleyball is stressfull enough already, and I don't need to worry about what she's doing. I need a polite not hurtful way to tell her to quit it. Like at times, she starts swearing (mild achoholic) and I tell her to go away. Well, guess what happens then: She stays mad at me, ignores and blocks me out of her for the rest of the night. AHHHH! She's driving me nuts! Just recently she quit her job and refuses to go back to work. I need a way to get her out of the house and out of my hair. I JUST HAte tHe WAY SHE'S BEING RIGHt NOW! help me cope :(

My um... mother!?
Lots of girls go through this kind of thing with their mom. You are not alone. But I know it must feel like your own personal hell.





Try not to see her as an antagonist, but as someone who cares for you and tries to do her best, but who isn't perfect and will sometimes embarrass you. If you can stand back and look at it objectively, you will realize that it's not the worst thing in the world!





Try to deal specifically with the things that annoy you and don't get caught up in the whole 'i hate my mother' thing. talk to her as though you love her. try to find the common ground. you are her daughter, so there will be a lot of it. trust me :)
Reply:Your first sentence is what you need to read.....you are very lucky to have a mom who cares enough to be involved with you. I played volleyball, and my parents never came to one game. Don't get me wrong, I have great parents, but it would have been great to have had them show a little more support. As for the swearing, I think that is something that your mom needs to work on. Just talk to her like an adult. Its better to be straight up with her in a respectful manner then to just grin and bear it and start to hate her. Maybe she needs help with her alcoholism and just needs a loved one to push her into it. Just be a mature person and talke to her respectfully.
Reply:Being a teenager was not easy for me, either. Just be careful you don't say anything to her you will regret later, like when she's gone.





Try to avoid confrontation with her. Accept the fact that she has a drinking problem. She is not happy. She is trying to socialize, and that is why she gossips.





Try to understand things from her side. She is sick if she is an alcoholic. When you get frustrated with her, imagine a flashing sign on her forehead that says "SICK." Pull weeds in the garden and pretend you are pulling out her hair if you get really mad, but try to avoid direct confrontation as that will only make things worse.
Reply:oh sweetie my heart breaks for you. there are al-anon groups for just your problem. talk to your student counselor or call your local department of social services they can refer you to a place you need to be to get help in dealing with your mom. good luck
Reply:I would suggest that there is another problem.





If she has a "best friend", talk to that friend and see if she can get your mother to open up
Reply:Your screen name says it all.
Reply:well its obvious she is depressed from quitting her job, something might have been bothering her...try talking to her on a one on one and tell her wat u feel and maybe in a nice way tell her she can rather be in PTA
Reply:there is no right way to tell her your just gonna have to say please don't take it so hard but i don't nned you there anymore
Reply:she is probably going through something. dont worry mothers always want to be there for daughters. just tell her one to one nicely and gently ...shell understand i hopeee
Reply:Write your mom a letter. It gives you a chance to think about what you're going to say, how you're going to say it and get your message across without interruption. You could also talk to your coach about how you feel. Make sure you mention that it's hard to concentrate while worrying about her behavior or what she's going to reveal. Maybe she'll be relieved of her duties. Although she wants to help, her behavior is inappropriate.
Reply:Maybe you should talk to her mom and show her how important you think it is to work. Or if she still drives you crazy/nuts go to the closest possible friend or family members house.
Reply:i know how you feel. my mom is the same way but diferent in a way. send me and emal maybe we could talk.
Reply:At some point you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with her... ask her why she drinks, why she feels the need to do that, what can be done to replace that. Try to get her to think through and quantify things. She might even have an epiphany.





Other than that:


Remove the volleyball calendar from your wall so she doesn't know when to show up.


See if one of your team-mates can pick you up and take you to the volleyball matches.
Reply:I think that you should talk to her and if that doesnt work then just go talk to someone who you trust dont be all rude to her and help her out try to get her to relax or something
Reply:i think u need 2 stop thinking about urself and put urself in ur moms shoes.


think of how she has it. then think what she wud feel if she read this. we all hav feelings.
Reply:wow, you may want to write that down and give it to her when shes sober? thats tough
Reply:Mybe you should try and talk to her about it. She might understand. tell her you don't like something she might be doing ans ask her if's there's anything that she's upset about you right now. You both can try to fix your ways and she might be a bit nicer. Golden Rule: Treat people the way you want to be treated.