Husband cheating?

my husband and i have been married for almost a year (2 weeks till our year) been together for 2 years... we have a son ( 9 months old). ok so i think my husband is allergic to me because he doesnt kiss me we dont have sex, i feel like his roommate or something. i always try to get him to kiss me or have sex with me or do anything with me but he doesnt im begining to lose all confidence in myself. we have sex about once every 2 months if im lucky im lucky if i get a kiss.. its more of a peck.. and its driving me nuts.. i talk to him and ask him what i can do and he always says sorry and says he'l try and work on it but no change and i tell him its really affecting me i cant help but cry and feel so sad. and the thing is that he is 21 so you would think his sex drive would be up there but no its not im 25 and im like willing to go anytime anywhere.. i know its usually opposite i feel like the guy sometimes. i try everything but then he says hes tired as he sits on the couch.what to do.

Husband cheating?
He is not cheating. Having a child is a life change, it is normal for either partner to drop their sexual desire for well up to a year before things snap back into place. Some men are caught up in the lack of attention factor, now that there is a little one who needs your complete attention and care, then there is the fact that you gave birth to this little wonder. You just do what comes naturally, be yourself, let him see there really is no change in who you are and he will snap back into place. Don't spend too much time obsessing, its all normal.
Reply:he is either cheating, or he has been cheating and feels guilty about it. either way, leave his *** and let him chase after you not you crawl around begging for him. just think about your child and how they feel if their parent spend time doing the wrong thing.or try counseling , just to stay together as a family. i hope this works out.
Reply:I had a friend who married this guy, apparently it was fine before the marriage, but once they got married it was like you describe. She tried to curl up with him on the couch one night and he jumped up screaming "what are you queer or something?" Some people are just that way. Go figure.
Reply:He either has another woman. or he is Gay.Maybe he only just found out his sexual preferences. I wonder what he means when he says he will try to work it out ???
Reply:I want to try to tell you this in the most sensitive way, from what you have written, it appears to me that he may not be in love with you anymore. He sounds like he is into someone else!





Men, in general, normally pull away from their partners when it comes to sex or kissing because they are strongly interested in someone else. He maybe getting sex from someone else as well.





That maybe why he is being so cold. He proberably apologizes to you because he feels guilty. And if he is only 21, wow, he is super young and married on top of that, he has proberbly missed out on his life and rushed into marriage and having a kid.





Women for some reason, mature alot faster than men, at least the majority of us do. To me, he is not mature enough to handle marriage and a kid.





He maybe running off to another girls arms to escape from you and the baby. If he is not being intimate with you, he is definetly being sexual with another woman.





Guys tend to fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears. He might have thought he was ready for marriage, but his actions are surely speaking for themselves.





You need to really discuss this matter with him and see if he wants to stay or go. It is better to get the truth from him, than to allow him to cheat on you throughout your marriage. He needs to think about your precious baby too!
Reply:this might be to harsh but i think that if a 21 year old has no sex drive at all with his partner its because he is getting something out side. if you have tried everything under the sun and nothing is working for you and yur not getting his attention honey please leave it might be hard at first but its even worse to live like your doing right now . he should be horny all the time , does he work alot? what does he do for a living hes only 21 ? is he more mature than 21 or is he like a 15 year old? Remember you have a little one to take care of do something for both .
Reply:I have a male friend who is married. They have a year old son. Thing is, it's his wife who is not interested in sex. Get some counseling. Just because he isn't affectionate, doesn't mean he is cheating. Spice the romance a bit. Hope things workout for you..
Reply:I've been though this before.


He is indeed getting it elsewhere and is no longer interested in you for whatever reason. I'm so very sorry as I know how hard something like this hurts.
Reply:I think you should get out of this mess-you deserve much better!
Reply:He needs to see his doctor. He could have a medical problem that's affecting his libido. This could be easy to fix.
Reply:It could be a few things going on but I have never heard of a 21 year old healthy man not wanting to have sex.. I feel like you may definitely have a point. Try talking to him, check is cell phone bill, there has to be some evidence if he is cheating.
Reply:Well, sounds to me like something is definitely going on. I wonder if it is worth sitting him down...again, and telling him exactly how this is making you feel. Also, throw some questions/suggestions as to "why" he is no longer interested in you. Is he having an affair; does he feel overwhelmed with responsibility; is his job bothering him....etc... There could be a host of reasons and not just because of an affair. If he cannot come up with any valid reason for you, then I would suggest some counseling for him... Best of luck to you!!!
Reply:Sweetie, I hate to say it to you, but this sounds EXACTLY like the behavior of my ex-husband when he was cheating. I would suggest getting down to the issues really quick while the baby is still young....and while you only have one child. If it is an issue now, while your marriage is so new, then even if he *says* he will work on it and it gets better for a while..you may end up right back here in a few years. You should not have to ASK for a kiss or beg for attention from him. I know how you feel, I seriously do. Look into some counseling. If he will not go, then go yourself. I promise it will be beneficial to you. You deserve to be happy and to be enjoying your son's young life.





Take care!





HUGS





Kerri
Reply:This is my guess. I may be wrong but it makes more sense to me than any of the other answers you have gotten. It's extremely rare that a 21 year old man would have a dimished sex drive unless he suddenly put on a whole bunch of weight. Also a straight 21 year old man, will and can have sex many times, with many different women, if given the opportunity. So him cheating should not really diminish his willingness to have sex with you. Even if you have got physically unattractive to him, he will still want to sleep with you more than once every few months. You start rubbing on his penis and it will respond. What you and the other responders don't say is that he may be gay. I have gay male friends who have slept with women just to keep the fact that they are gay in the closet. A gay man is not attracted to a woman, but will foce himself to have sex with one just to keep up the act. Try to remember in the past, were you guys having sex at least 4 or 5 times a week when you first started dating? Or when you are together does he just ejaculate and is done, or does he caress and touch your body? At 18,19,20, or 21 my girlfriend couldn't walk past me without me getting hard and wanting to have sex with her. I'm 40 now and I still want sex 3 or 4 times a week with my girlfriend. So I think he may be gay and hiding it from you
Reply:Well don't jump to that final thought just yet do like some of the other people said go through his things make sure you know where he is all the time have an actual reason besides just that. Me and my husband aren't as far as you are but we only like 3 or 4 times a week and i'm offering almost everyday it's just he works alot and he's addicted to his video game i know where he is literally every minute of the day he's saying no to sex but i know there's no cheating going on so just look into it it could be a complete different situation than you think.
Reply:I think he is cheating, but before you do anything drastic YOU NEED EVIDENCE!!!! Most men cheat online now-a-days, One way to find out whats happening online is by placing a keylogger on a computer, a keylogger records every single thing that happens on a computer and at times is evidence in a divorce!!!! I had the same problem with my girlfriend about 6 months ago. I bought KeyProwler, which is a very good and inexpensive Keylogger engine and much more. it not only does keylogging, but takes screenshots and emails you logs even when you do not have access to the program! check it out...I like KeyProwler because it is very simple to use and not overly complicated like the other keylogging software. I found out that she was talking to guys online and i got her myspace username and password and i printed it off directly from the program and when she came home i had the evidence right there and i broke it off with her....best decision i have ever made!!!!


here is the address : http://www.keyprowler.com
Reply:I have a good friend in this same situation. Her husband is not cheating on her, but she has been diminished because of it. I would love to have a spouse as willing to go as you and her are. I feel for you and would hope that if you truly love him that you find a solution to his problem. This is not because of you and i am sure that you are a very beautiful desirable woman. Maybe make an appointment with a doctor to help.
Reply:mi cousin- Yes i am sry but i think he is cheating too! try dressing in sexier clothes or doing something special show him u care! when he leaves snoop through his phone look for a girls # look for hair on his clothes or anything!
Reply:I have to admit I have never known a 21 year old to have a low sex drive. I would ask him why he isn't making a effort in making your relationship better. Most neglected spouses end up cheating because of a lack of attention Its a fact and I would let him know that too. If you think he is cheating you need to look for clues and have some one you know follow him and see if anything is going on.


I hope the best for you. Take care.
Reply:It was over when you said "I do". If you are ever lucky enough to fall in love again with someone else, learn your lesson and never get married again. Marriage even destroys soul mates. Yes he is cheating. Men don't go without sex!!! I wish I could have taught you the facts of life before you got married.





1. There is no Santa


2. There might be a Bigfoot


3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat


4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)


5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)


6. Life is not fair





Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to


hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike


the other answers you will get.





You still don't believe me? Check his cell phone records for


a few months including his work cell phone. Check all his email addresses including his work email not just the email address he uses with you. If you want to keep living in your fantasy world keep lying to yourself and don't check!!!
Reply:Tell him your going to come meet me I will take care of what he's not.